The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 70 is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Noah with an even hand, and remarkable for its teetotalling pirates, triple-decker prams, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.884 billion Second Best Puppet 70ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 77.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 70ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,237 trillion cards a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 179,773 cards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Concussed legendaryball players cannot remember their lineup position, the blood, sweat, and tears of poor Second Best Puppet 70ians make research institutes rich, youth rights demonstrations often end in vicious snowball fights, and the wheel has been patented by at least a hundred people. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 70's national animal is the legendary, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Second Best Puppet 70 is ranked 257,256^th in the world and 91^st in Two for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 43.47 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.